Tag: Toast Crunch Cereal

The 2021 holiday season began with a bang when the Toast Crunch gang dropped a Thanksgiving-leaning limited edition Apple Pie version of its beloved cinnamon cereal that instantly became a fan favorite. It’s back for a third year, but a new potential holiday hero has emerged — the twinkling blue-boxed Gingerbread Toast Crunch.

Let me get my personal bias out of the way: Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the greatest cereal ever. Whew, I said it. Growing up, it was all about Reese’s Puffs, and I still champion them, but for the last decade or so, no sweet cereal has delivered the way that CTC has. Even the Toast Crunch releases from the previous four years have been solid, especially CinnaGraham Toast Crunch, which, dare I say, might be even better than the original?

Now that you know where I’m coming from, this new cereal is something I’ve been dreaming about for years. In my head, it was always Pumpkin Spice Toast Crunch, but gingerbread is a slightly less crowded space, and I appreciate the nuance it has over its more in-demand pumpkin cohort. The texture of the squares is the same delightful little airy but gently crunchy one you know from the original — it’s perfect.

I’m more of a dry cereal snacker or enjoy putting it on top of bowls of yogurt or ice cream, so that’s how I tend to judge my CTC varieties, but it usually performs very well in milk, too. The flavor of these squares is delicious but a bit less spicy than I imagined. Specifically, they’re not very gingery. When I think gingerbread or ginger cookies, I expect a little bit of a tingle, and while these boast a nice undercurrent of molasses with some spice, I’m mainly getting cinnamon, and there isn’t much of a tingle. That doesn’t stop me from having handful after handful of crunchy, buttery, mildly spicy delight, but I expected a more potent flavor punch like 2021’s Apple Pie.

Milk doesn’t bring any spice to the table, but it does bring some creaminess that I suppose you could stretch your imagination to say emulates the cookie’s frosting. Either way, a decent amount of the Cinnadust comes off into the milk and creates some of the best cereal milk in the game (you know the vibes), which has a bit more of a special Christmas-y aura than the usual CTC milk.

For some, the mild ginger punch will be a welcome surprise, and for others, like me, it could leave you wanting a bit more. I think General Mills played it safe with this one, and for a sugar-laden cereal aimed at children, I’m totally okay with that because there’s still enough warm, molasses-y holiday magic to get me feeling festive.

Purchased Price: $6.49 (man this inflation is a DRAG)
Size: 18.8 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup, 41g) 170 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

The best way to start your morning?

Cinnamon.

Naturally sweet and spicy, it helps boost brain function, improves blood circulation, and can even prevent cancer! A doctor also once told me that if I ate an apple every day I would never have to come back to his office, so, an apple caked in cinnamon must be the answer to all of life’s problems. Seemingly hearing my call for health help, General Mills has added Apple Cinnamon Toast Crunch to their Toast line of breakfast cereals.

Tasting the cereal dry, the first thing that jumps out at me is this stuff does not have the big crystallized sugary pop of its father and cinna-GOAT, Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Although I could already tell this just from looking at them, the texture is exactly the same as the now buried Tiny Toast line – puffy and crunchy loaf slices with a relatively soft chew that is generally pleasant for a kiddy cereal.

The flavor is headlined by a solid authentic apple flavor that if I had to guess was modeled after a red delicious as it isn’t too tart or sweet, but definitely juicy. The cinnamon takes more of a backseat, with just a slightly spicy finish that gives a bit of a robust and rounded flavor without being too aggressive.

The two work really well together and are pretty seamless like fresh apple slices sprinkled with cinnamon. Despite being able to see some sparkly sugar on the surface of the toasts, I think more sweetness would have really helped give the cinnamon more sparkle and driven the overall flavor to new heights.

Adding milk to the equation amplifies the apple and further subdues the cinnamon, adding in a new tart layer that more closely mimics a granny smith than the red delicious I initially tasted. The flavor switch here is kind of surprising, as I’m used to milk driving the sweetness or freshness of a cereal rather than actually changing the way my mouth interprets it. Unfortunately, it fades pretty quickly in the milk, as the liquid rips off the cereal dust and sogs up the pieces much faster than I would like.

All in all this is an okay cereal, one that would be acceptable with a different namesake but doesn’t live up to the fame and glory of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It doesn’t pack the true berry flavor of Blueberry Tiny Toast (which is now Blueberry Toast Crunch, and one of my favorite new cereals of last year), and is just above its strawberry sibling for being an option that is suitable but not one I feel the need to buy again if not on sale.

It does, however, whoop Apple Jacks in the realm of solid apple flavor, and if that was a favorite of yours growing up, you may have found a new best Sunday morning friend.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – 120 calories, 25 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: 11.1 oz. box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Bright juicy apple flavor. Fascinatingly transforms in milk. Better than Apple Jacks.
Cons: Needs more cinnamon sparkle. Needs more sugary sparkle. Gets soggy in milk real fast.

Frosted toast sounds like something Paula Deen created with her greasy, butter coated hands, but I Googled “frosted toast paula deen” and it didn’t show me any results that link the two together. However, Google did show me text ads for Weight Watchers, diet pills, and butter churns.

Frosted Toast Crunch is a cereal General Mills describes as, “baked with the delightful taste of frosted vanilla, then dusted with a delicious dash of cinnamon for a taste that’s pure delight.” So frosted toast is toast with vanilla frosting on top with a little cinnamon? That sounds lower middle class fabulous.

All the previous Toast Crunch cereals have made sense, like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Peanut Butter Toast Crunch, and French Toast Crunch. But Frosted Toast sounds like something General Mills made up. I don’t know of any human being who has put cake frosting on toast. Putting two tubs of it on my body to make a French-cut frosting Speedo…yes. But, toast…that just sounds really weird.

With its white powdered coating, Frosted Toast Crunch cereal looks like it partied with Tony Montana. Sadly, the sugary layer easily gets washed away when eaten with milk and settles to the bottom of the bowl.

Of course, this process causes the cereal to lose a lot of its sweet vanilla flavor and whatever little cinnamon flavor it has, but it makes the milk that’s left in the bowl taste awesome. I’m talking upset Jamie Oliver awesome.

If you happen to buy a box of Frosted Toast Crunch cereal, I suggest you eat it dry. Because when you eat it dry, your tongue will make your brain think it’s eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch, albeit a light version. Vanilla is the dominate flavor, but the cinnamon is a bit more noticeable without the cow/soy/almond/goat milk cockblocking it from your tongue. You should also eat it dry because of the way the sugary coating will melt on your tongue when you drop a few pieces in your mouth.

Frosted Toast Crunch cereal is good, but it’s not that impressive. When eaten with milk it doesn’t have much flavor and when eaten dry it almost tastes like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Maybe General Mills should grab a stick of butter and Deen-ify it.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 120 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 1.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 14 grams of other carbohydrates, 1 gram of protein, and a clump of vitamin and minerals.)

Item: Frosted Toast Crunch Cereal
Price: $2.99
Size: 13.2 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Eating the cereal dry. When eaten dry, it kind of tastes like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Sugary coating makes the after milk taste awesome. Google ads looking out for me.
Cons: Eating the cereal wet. Sugary coating gets easily washed away with milk. Sogginess happens quicker than I’d like. Cockblocking flavors. Putting sticks of butter in everything. Frosting Speedos.

This review WAS going to start off about how I love peanut butter and how I go through a bottle every three weeks.

Then I WAS going to say something about how you may think I like peanut butter because it’s something I enjoy licking off of a woman.

Then I WAS going to say that I don’t like to lick peanut butter off of a woman’s body, because I’ve tried it and the smell of the peanut butter sort of turns me off.

Then I WAS going to say that the only things I’m willing to lick off of a woman’s body are canned whipped cream, pudding, Cool Whip, chocolate syrup, and ice cream.

Finally, I WAS going to say how I’m definitely not willing to lick peanut butter or canned cheese off of any woman’s body, even if it’s Winona Ryder’s.

I WAS going to say all of that, but then I realized that several reviews over the past month have been very sexual in nature. Hmm…Let’s see, there was the cookie porn in the Chips Ahoy Cremewiches review, the phallic nature of the Tootsie Pop Spy Stix review, the viewing of hot corn in the review for Firefox 1.0, and the licking of pudding off of woman’s body in the Jello Oreo Instant Pudding review.

Since I don’t want to seem like a perverted product reviewer, today’s review will be Rated G. It will be a nice and wholesome review. A review that the whole family can read and enjoy…except the beginning part about licking peanut butter off of a woman’s body.

So here it goes.

Today’s review subject is Peanut Butter Toast Crunch Cereal from fine people at General Mills. Yes, it’s the same wonderful folks who brought us the popular and delicious Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal.

I’m surprised by how long it took for them to come up with this inspired idea. Peanut butter toast is something I have long enjoyed. As a matter of fact, I’m consuming some scrumptious peanut butter toast right now as I type this fascinating review.

Despite my affections for the quite delectable peanut butter toast, I do not feel the same about peanut butter-flavored cold breakfast cereals, like Cap’n Crunch’s Peanut Butter Crunch. These cereals don’t have an authentic peanut butter flavor, which disappoints me quite dearly. I was hoping that the new Peanut Butter Toast Crunch Cereal could overcome this obstacle, which had plagued its predecessors.

Unfortunately, the Peanut Butter Toast Crunch Cereal could not meet the difficult challenge of appeasing my delicate palate. Its meager attempt at authentic peanut butter flavor fell quite short and has disenchanted me further from peanut butter-flavored cereals.

If there was one thing that I found quite impressive with this cereal it would be the fact that it stayed crunchy in milk for a decent amount of time. But we don’t buy cereal for its ability to stay crunchy, we buy cereal for its flavor and this cereal, my loyal readers, has greatly disappointed me.

Peanut butter is still magnificent for spreading on toast, but not so splendid for breakfast cereals…and licking off of a woman’s body.

Item: Peanut Butter Toast Crunch Cereal
Purchase Price: $3.09 (on sale)
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Stays crunchy in milk for a respectable amount of time.
Cons: Doesn’t really have an authentic peanut butter flavor. PB not good for licking off of a woman’s body.