Tag: Wendy’s

I don’t usually spend much time in these reviews talking about my day job, and for good reason: the only thing more boring than your own job is hearing about someone else’s. As it is, most of you are only reading this to grab five minutes away from the drudgery of your workday, why would you want to hear about mine?

Nonetheless, I’m going to break my own rule to tell you that a large part of my day involves using someone’s personality traits to predict how they might perform in various jobs. When an individual shows signs of being a creative risk taker, I’ll often tell their potential employer, “This person is going to want to come in and make some changes. It’s not that your current processes are necessarily ‘broken,’ but very few things in life are perfect, and this is the type of guy who’s always looking for ways to make improvements.”

Why do I bring that up? Because more so than most foods, you’d have a hard time finding any non-vegetarian who would argue that the cheeseburger is broken, let alone a bacon cheeseburger. What’s there to fix? Most keyboards won’t even let you type the words “bacon” and “broken” in the same sentence. I just had to cut and paste that, and Spellcheck still asked three times if it was really what I wanted to write. I suspect it’s going to change it to “Canadian bacon” on its own initiative.

Be that as it may, Wendy’s is having a go at improving the cheeseburger, and you can bet it came from the brain of one of those outside-the-box thinkers. Inevitably she was driving to work one day and suddenly thought, wait… what if we took everything that’s great about bacon cheeseburgers and added America’s favorite street vendor food? Who could say no to that? Wendy’s is hoping the answer is “Not you,” although you’ve wisely chosen to seek out my counsel before hitting up the drive-thru. Check and mate, Dave Thomas.

In concept this is a pretty simple change — they’re not replacing the patty with ostrich meat or rolling out a new cheese invented specifically for this sandwich, they’re just replacing the standard type of bun with pretzel bread. It does come with sweet & smoky honey mustard sauce, though they will leave that off upon request, only 50 percent of the time with a follow-up look of “What are you, a weirdo?” Otherwise, the most dramatic adjustment is that it looks significantly larger than standard Wendy’s burgers.

Like a woman walking behind Matthew McConaughey and Bradley Cooper, I actually do like the buns; but these pretzel rolls retain their shape better and are just overall taller than the standard buns. If you’re used to eating regular Wendy’s burgers, you may actually find yourself having to open your mouth wider, which should be good practice for when they unveil their new fall product, a live pig.

Okay, so the pretzel buns look appetizing, but how does that translate to taste? Pretty well, all things considered. We’ve all been out at a sporting event and bitten into a pretzel that you know was made the last time your team was good. (Cubs fans, I feel you.) The exterior is as hard as tungsten, the inside practically flakes into dust instead of twisting softly into your mouth, and all the salt has congealed together into one large land mass, possibly inhabited by primitive sodium men.

I’m glad to say Wendy’s Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger doesn’t fall prey to any of those. The exterior is firmer than your average bread bun, true, but it still yields with a nice crunch when you bite into it, and that carries through to the inside as well. It’s chewy without being overly so, and the flavor doesn’t intrude on or overwhelm the taste of the meat or cheese. As for them, you can see from the picture that the bacon was plentiful. The cheese was fine, nothing especially noticeable but decent, and the burger was grilled well. For a man who usually orders Jr. Cheeseburgers, this is the good stuff.

So what’s the bad news? Well, if it seems odd that I haven’t used the word “salt” more, it’s because there isn’t any. Or rather, there’s the colossal, turn-your-stomach-if-you-really-think-about-it amount contained in the beef and bacon and cheese, but there aren’t any large granules on the pretzel bun. I don’t know if they tested it and found it was just too salty, but I’d at least like to have the option. Because without it, this really isn’t that much different than eating a regular (good) bacon cheeseburger. Still awesome, but really… the bun is the last thing you notice about a juicy burger with toppings.

It’s like a long snapper in football: important, but still the least noticeable component. You’re inevitably going to value the bacon and beef and cheese and honey mustard far more, and they haven’t changed. Plus, perhaps this goes without saying, but eating more than one of these burgers in a year automatically disqualifies you for health insurance. Eat three and Chris Christie will personally visit your house to ask what the hell you think you’re doing.

This puts me in an uncomfortable position as far as the rating goes. The addition is minor, enjoyable but really not that much of an upgrade; yet it’s being added to what was already a superior product. Do you give Apple props for adding a camera to the iPad even though no one wants to hold up a tablet to take pictures? Most people seem to, and after all, it’s hard to fault a genuinely good fast food burger just because the titular improvement is easy to forget after two bites.

Either way, this is definitely worth trying for yourself — act quickly, as it’s a limited-time summer food unless it proves popular enough to hang around. (Because God forbid we have a pretzel-and-beef snack food still available for Oktoberfest…)

(Nutrition Facts – Single burger – 680 calories, 320 calories from fat, 36 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 3.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 13 grams of monounsaturated fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1110 milligrams of sodium, 540 milligrams of potassium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar, 2 grams of fiber, 37 grams of protein.)

Item: Wendy’s Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger
Purchased Price: $5.69 (burger only)
Size: 1/4 lb burger
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Really looks appetizing. Doesn’t skimp on bacon. Not being a Cubs fan. Firm but not tough pretzel bun. Individual cardboard box rather than just a wrapper = swank. “Oh, you hate your job? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” ~Drew Carey
Cons: No salt on the pretzel bun. Uppity Spellcheck. Being a 2013 Phillies fan. Not exactly your cheapest meal option. If I’d seen the nutritional facts of a value meal beforehand, I would’ve just punched myself in the crotch a few times instead.

“That’s it?”

“Yea. That’s it.”

Such completed my transaction of the new Frosty Waffle Cone. Anticlimactic, brief, and disheartening, the short exchange with the Wendy’s guy as I looked upon this innovation of fast food desserts — this long-hoped for, anxiously awaited breakthrough in hot-as-balls spring day relief — was matched only in brevity by the experience of eating the dissolving agglomeration of chocolate, cream, and God knows what else.

Yes, like Frosty the Snowman in the Greenhouse, the new Frosty Waffle Cones don’t last long. But unlike Frosty resurrected by the magic of Christmas, a melted Waffle Cone doesn’t freeze back up into a sweet confection.

You’ll have to excuse my somber tone. I do take my frozen desserts rather seriously, especially when it comes to the frozen dairy in a cone department. Having once perfected the seven loops of a Rita’s Large Frozen Custard Waffle Cone during a summer job, I feel a certain affinity towards sweet and creamy chocolate served with a crispy handle. Combine this affinity with a lifelong fixation upon the chemical properties of the not-quite-milkshake Frosty, and the revelation that the iconic frozen treat was getting the Waffle Cone treatment should have had every capacity to complete my life.

Yes, my life.

So you’ll imagine my dumfounded indignation upon seeing the liquidy puddle of chocolate Frosty barely reaching out of the Waffle Cone. While I pride myself in having advanced my use of imagery as a writer since my kindergarten days, the cone did, in fact, bare a strikingly resemblance to a diarrhea laden dump.

Clearly, there is no truth in advertising anymore, and while I’d love to say that I was able to overcome this construction shortcoming, the fact is that I wasn’t four or five steps out the door before the Frosty concoction began to melt. Instead of licking the Frosty as you’d lick the soft serve ice cream in a traditional cone, you’re really forced to slurp the Frosty more than anything else. It’s a completely acceptable means of ingestion when you’ve got the benefit of a cup and a straw, but as the puddle of Frosty spills out onto your hands from the cone, you might find yourself wishing you had brought a bib.

The taste of the Frosty isn’t bad. Obviously it tastes like a Chocolate Frosty, what with its sweet and not too intense cocoa flavor, but it strikes me as not having the standard consistency of the Frosty. It’s as if the particles of cream and sugar and mono and diglycerides are in active rebellion, and by melting so quickly proclaim a chorus of ‘hey, what the hell is this cone thing we’re floating in?’

As for that cone thing, take it from a seasoned waffle cone aficionado. There’s something off about it. A good waffle cone is malty with a slight give. You should be able to taste a batter component in there beneath that first crunch, and it should be sturdy enough to provide a thick crunch. This cone was more crispy than anything, with a bland sweetness that came off as cheap.

If you’re looking to suffer disillusionment in the arms of a fast food classic, or perhaps if you just want to get sticky stains on your steering wheel and endanger the lives of motorists after a cruise through the drive-through, then yes, I highly recommend Wendy’s new Frosty Cone. However, the next time I wish to beat the heat on a hot day, I think I’ll just stick to the traditional Frosty in a cup. It’s classic and delicious, and what’s more, its construction doesn’t remind me on diarrhea.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 Chocolate Frosty Waffle Cone – 300 calories, 6 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 35 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein, and 20% calcium.)

Item: Wendy’s Original Chocolate Frosty Waffle Cone
Purchased Price: $1.69
Size: 1 cone (feels smaller than a Value Frosty)
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Original Chocolate Frosty is still sweet and chocolatey. Cone is crispy and not stale. Not as bad for you as regular ice cream.
Cons: Looks like the Frosty machine took a dump in a Waffle Cone. Melts immediately. As in, before-you-can-pay-immediately. Cone lacks substantial crunch or malted flavor. Slurping up Frosty doesn’t give you time to enjoy the simple pleasures. Small. Inconsistent Wendy’s value menu pricing.

If you’ve watched more than 10 minutes of live television in the last few weeks, you’ve almost certainly seen the ubiquitous commercials for the new Wendy’s Flatbread sandwiches. And if you’ve already seen the commercials, then you invariably have two questions. These are the two answers:

1) Yes, the sandwiches are actually quite good.
2) The redhead’s name is Morgan Smith Goodwin.

If you want to learn more about 2), you’ll have to go down that internet wormhole for yourself. I do, however, have plenty more information on 1).

Let’s start with the Smoky Honey Mustard Flatbread. The simpler of the two sandwiches, it’s got grilled chicken, mixed greens, two slices of tomatoes, and a whole lot of honey mustard inside the flatbread. The flatbread itself really is the star of the show here – with various grains and seeds offering some crunch to complement the otherwise thick and chewy bread, it’s tasty and filling and just feels healthier than everything else on the menu.

The greens are also useful in that regard, with leafier and presumably more nutritious varieties than plain old iceberg lettuce. All good news if maybe you’re getting a late jump on your spring diet, and maybe your friend is throwing a too-early-in-the-season-and-no-one’s-swimsuit-ready party in the Hamptons soon, and maybe your mother recently told you your pants look tight from the extra pounds in your butt. These are all complete hypotheticals, so you definitely didn’t hurt my feelings, Mom.

The nomenclature of these new products is weird but appropriate; perhaps the flatbread comes before the grilled chicken because there’s so much more of the former than the latter. The chicken was juicy and well-seasoned and generally very tasty, but there just wasn’t enough of it. Each flatbread contained what looked to be half a grilled chicken fillet sliced into four or five strips, which couldn’t cover the entirety of the sandwich.

I took several bites that consisted of only bread and honey mustard, particularly around the hinge of the flatbread. And speaking of the honey mustard, I couldn’t detect any smokiness at all. It wouldn’t surprise me if it was the exact same honey mustard as the dipping sauce for the chicken nuggets. I guess “smoky mustard” is one of those phrases that gets thrown around but actually means nothing, like “elegant wine” or “corporate values” or “do you know who I am? I’m Reese Witherspoon!”

The Asiago Ranch Flatbread Grilled Chicken Sandwich has a couple more ingredients than the Smoky Honey Mustard, with three strips of bacon, asiago cheese, and ranch dressing instead of honey mustard. As you might expect, this sandwich had a much stronger taste.

The excellent-as-usual Wendy’s bacon added texture and flavor, while the cheese and ranch dressing made for a very rich combination. Again, I thought there was too little chicken. Also, the extra toppings here made for a much messier eating experience, which should be an extra consideration if your spring diet is a subset to the overall life goal of being less of a slob.

I liked both of the new Wendy’s Flatbread Grilled Chicken sandwiches, and each of them would make for a decent-sized meal on its own (I bought them at the same time but saved half of each for lunch the next day). If I had to choose just one, I would probably go with the Smoky Honey Mustard Flatbread – it’s cheaper ($3.59 vs. $4.19) and has fewer calories (370 vs. 530), and its milder flavors suited my taste buds better than the richness of the Asiago Ranch. I’d recommend you go try either one for yourself. If nothing else, Wendy’s franchises seem to have lots of Morgan Smith Goodwin cardboard cutouts these days.

(Nutrition Facts – Smoky Honey Mustard – 370 calories, 150 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 550 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 22 grams of protein. Asiago Ranch – 530 calories, 270 calories from fat, 30 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 940 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 30 grams of protein.)

Other Wendy’s Smoky Honey Mustard Flatbread & Asiago Ranch Flatbread reviews:
Grub Grade
Foodette Reviews
Brand Eating
Man Reviews Food

Item: Wendy’s Flatbread Grilled Chicken Sandwich (Smoky Honey Mustard & Asiago Ranch)
Purchased Price: $3.59 (Smoky Honey Mustard)
Purchased Price: $4.19 (Asiago Ranch)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Smoky Honey Mustard)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Asiago Ranch)
Pros: Flatbread is thick and chewy. Grains and seeds make it feel healthier. Chicken is juicy and well-seasoned. Greens are leafier than regular iceberg lettuce. Wendy’s bacon is always excellent. Both sandwiches have relatively few calories. Morgan Smith Goodwin is an Alyson Hannigan lookalike. Celebrity DUI jokes.
Cons: Not enough chicken. Honey mustard wasn’t smoky at all. Asiago Ranch was a little too rich for me. Asiago Ranch was very messy to eat. Spring dieting. Yes, fine, I didn’t wait for lunch to finish the sandwiches. Please don’t steal any Morgan Smith Goodwin cutouts.

You know, you’ve got to hand it to Wendy’s — they really are making an effort to step up their game. As we discussed previously, the little red-haired girl is on her toes recently to stay ahead of emerging competitors like Five Guys, despite having recently gone regicidal on Burger King in terms of overall U.S. sales volume. This has led the flame-tressed siren to double down on greater variety and better quality ingredients. Today, we’re looking at the latest result of this rebranding, three new “signature” side dishes.

Though I’ve always been a burger and fries guy, I understand the wisdom of trying to branch out a little with a healthier option (Baked Sweet Potato) and one you normally don’t associate with fast food (Mac ‘N Cheese). The Chili Cheese Fries are obviously more in line with Wendy’s usual offerings, but if you’re craving fast food but are also counting calories, the sweet potato — at least in theory — would make a nice compromise.

But enough about theory, let’s dive into the food. I began with the Mac ‘N Cheese and was happily surprised with the size of the bowl it comes in. It’s definitely a side dish rather than a full meal, but you get a decent amount of pasta, even if the bottom of the container is a little higher than it looks from the outside. Another nice surprise was the quantity of cheese — the macaroni is literally SLATHERED in it. My wife felt it looked artificial, but I was just impressed by how much of it there was. Of course that’s irrelevant if it tastes like roasted turd, but luckily this didn’t. It won’t win awards for innovation or being haute cuisine, but it’s definitely a solid macaroni and cheese dish with plenty of creaminess and good texture. A little more bite would’ve been great (a small amount of chili powder can really make a mac ‘n cheese), but I have to label this one a definite success.

Then there’s the Baked Sweet Potato. Confession time, folks: I really had a difficult time with this dish. I love regular potatoes and I’m okay with sweet potatoes mashed or pureed, but this may have been my first experience with a baked sweet potato. Let us say the veiny texture, combined with the gooey cinnamon butter, made me, um, queasy. I don’t blame Wendy’s — it’s my issue, not theirs, and my wife liked it perfectly well — but I could barely stomach more than a few bites. To be fair, the cinnamon butter spread carried a distinct sweet taste that was good on its own, and it was a large potato that should do a nice job of filling you up. Unfortunately, texture was a definite problem, and the taste of the potato itself was not overwhelming. But while I wasn’t a fan, if you know you like baked sweet potatoes, I imagine you’ll enjoy this.

And finally we have the Chili Cheese Fries. Here’s a good example of how what you eat growing up influences you: when I went away to college, I learned that what I knew as “chili” is what the rest of the world calls “tomato soup with some chili powder and ground beef in it.” It turns out most people put beans and peppers and pieces of tomato in their chili, if you can believe that shit. Unfortunately Wendy’s has opted to use this more “traditional” form of chili on their fries, but for the 99.99 percent of you who didn’t grow up with Chili For Kids Who Won’t Eat Anything, that should be perfectly fine.

As you can see, they didn’t skimp on the chili or the cheese. The number of fries seem fine, not unbelievably generous but acceptable. I thought the cheese tasted okay, though not as flavorful as that found in the Mac ‘N cheese dish. There are a TON of beans, but since you’re eating fries, you need to be using a fork or spoon to really get them in your mouth — trying to consume this dish like regular fries invariably results in eating a fry with some cheese and a little bit of chili residue left on it. I also can’t say there’s a lot of heat to it, so if you prefer your chili with some bite, Wendy’s does not have you covered. Overall it’s a filling side dish and people who enjoy thick, chunky chili will get their money’s worth, though they’ll also be getting their calories’ worth and that of a couple of other people too.

In the final tally, I would get the Mac ‘N Cheese again; it definitely wins the side dishes competition I just made up. The chili cheese fries are in there for the silver medal, if you’re willing to loosen your belt and eat fries with a fork instead of just your hands. Alas, the sweet potato pulls up the rear — it’s a nice thought and the low calorie option is appreciated, but the texture just wasn’t appealing, even if the cinnamon butter was. But as I said, even if they aren’t all winners, kudos to that ginger tart for making the effort. You don’t get better without trying some new things.

(Editor’s Note/Disclaimer: We received a gift card from Wendy’s in order to try their new Signature Side Dishes. Yup, a gift card. Because FedEx-ing the products would’ve been gross.)

(Nutrition Facts — Mac ‘N Cheese — 1 bowl — 370 calories, 170 calories from fat, 19 grams of total fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fatty acids, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 940 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 4 grams of sugars, and 17 grams of protein. Baked Sweet Potato — 1 large sweet potato — 380 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of total fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 69 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of dietary fiber, 29 grams of sugars, and 6 grams of protein. Chili Cheese Fries — 1 serving — 570 calories, 270 calories from fat, 30 grams of total fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fatty acids, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1200 milligrams of sodium, 58 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of dietary fiber, 4 grams of sugars, and 18 grams of protein.)

Other Wendy’s Signature Sides reviews:
Grub Grade
Fast Food Geek
So Good Blog

Item: Wendy’s Signature Sides (Mac ‘N Cheese, Baked Sweet Potato, and Chili Cheese Fries)
Price: $2.76 (each)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Mac ‘N Cheese)
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Baked Sweet Potato)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Chili Cheese Fries)
Pros: Non-standard fast food fare. None of the three side dishes skimped in quantity. Mac ‘N Cheese emphasized the “cheese” part and tasted great. Cinnamon butter was sweet and flavorful on its own. Sweet potato is low in fat. Not crazy expensive.
Cons: Seems more expensive when you remember you can get a Jr. Cheeseburger and small fries for the price of a “side dish.” Finding out your entire conception of chili is based on a lie. Texture of the sweet potato. Fries got kinda soggy under all that chili and cheese. Little heat to the chili.

John Cusack was wrong. The world will not be destroyed by a Mayan calendar. It will come to an end by an angry and determined reanimated Dave Thomas stomping on the competition to the soundtrack of Joy Division’s “Transmission” …then the Universe.

How else to explain their shrewd ability to kick the King out on his ass and entrench themselves into the number two spot? Ronald McDonald should be afraid or at the very least slice Grimace up like Han Solo did to a Tauntaun and hide inside. I too would be scared of a zombie Dave Thomas in red pigtails.

Like the long-term girlfriend I had back in college, my affair with Wendy’s has been tumultuous. Sometimes I was all right with what I ate. Other times I was so disappointed I would watch a Uwe Boll film just to make myself happy again. I know a lot of you out there are extremely passionate about Wendy’s which makes me chuckle. To Wendy’s merit, they have worked hard to distinguish themselves from the big two.

Wendy’s is somewhat successful in an attempt to place themselves above the grease-shacks and giving customers a higher end fast food experience. Witness the sea salt fries, Black Label burgers, and signature drinks. On a side note, sea salt has become so ubiquitous…it’s like the ahi tuna of the late nineties.

Perusing the Wendy’s menu demonstrates an uppity foodie vibe. The new Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club fits right in with what reanimated Dave Thomas demands you to eat before he takes your soul like Shang Tsung (cue Mortal Kombat shout).

The folks at Wendy’s went ahead and picked up the tab for me to try the latest offering. However, I really fumbled the first time. Besides the enjoyable texture, I thought the sandwich was just okay. My wife asked why it was called a club since there was no sign of the promised Applewood smoked bacon and club sandwiches have bacon.

I said “shut up” and threw a sea salt fry hitting her left boob. Things bouncing off breasts make me laugh, but she was right…where the hell was the bacon?

Strange but true, Seventh Day Adventists own the property where this Wendy’s was located. Hence, no bacon in my club. They don’t eat pork which makes me wonder if their Baconator is just a plain cheeseburger with a wrapper in large red fonts? However, back from the dead Dave Thomas snarled and demanded I buy another at a different Wendy’s to truly get the experience.

The sandwich was wrapped in clean white butcher-like paper to underline the high-end feel. Ranch and guacamole smeared on butter toasted buns houses the entire ensemble which consists of a tomato slice, lettuce, a black pepper encrusted battered chicken breast that is adorned with a slice of pepper jack cheese, and sweet salty thick bacon slices. That sounds like a bold flavor megamix that only the likes of Bobby “I’m on a lot of reality shows” Flay can wrangle.

I believe there is no better first time bite than something that is simultaneously creamy and crunchy. Now that doesn’t mean I would dollop Cool Whip on pork rinds because mouthfeel or not, the thing has to be tasty. Although that combo does sound good after coming home late hammered on cheap scotch. It’s a proven equation, the creamy condiments and battered chicken is akin to buffalo wings and bleu cheese so of course this would work.

The guacamole is as authentic as the Mexican cuisine from Chipotle but here’s the surprising part, there are real chunks of avocado. Among the creamy bites are diced tomato and bits of onion. It is a step up from the questionable green globs some places try to pass off as the condiment, so I was a bit impressed.

Said chicken was very moist, no doubt helped by the thick encasement of peppery batter which was awesome. As most things that tend to orbit close to ingredient overload, the pepper jack cheese gets lost in the guacamole. To be honest so did the ranch dressing and I am not sure there was a need for it anyway since the guacamole tempers the fried chicken.

They say bacon makes everything better right? It does because without it, the sandwich was slanting towards mediocre. However the bacon’s sweetness really compliments this towering 770 calorie behemoth. The two flavors that really come to the forefront are the sweet smoky bacon and the pepper.

I love spicy heat and I went through a phase where I would put Sriracha, the Thai hot chili sauce, on everything. Like my wife does with Reddi-wip, I would squirt that stuff straight into my mouth. So the sandwich is not as spicy as I would like but I have to say this colossus’ heat lingers and has a good punch.

Speaking of punch, the sandwich with bacon or not, is a little too salty at times for my tastebuds. As you can imagine some bites reminded me of gulping seawater when a wave crashed on me unexpectedly when I was a little boy.

The high sodium levels are not a surprise considering and the number of fat grams would make Dr. Oz wage war with a sharpened tongue depressor. Hey, assholes, this is not diet food, it is a hedonistic guilty pleasure between two slices of bread. Sometimes you need that in your life and despite the saltiness, it’s not that bad.

Who needs a return of the living dead, red pigtailed Dave Thomas to crush your neck to kill you? Eating a couple of these in one sitting should give you a tasty coronary failure massive enough to blow up your heart Michael Bay style. Speaking of explosions, since the sandwich is practically an encyclopedia of all things yummy, it was freaking messy to eat. I grew frustrated at how things slid off or splooged out like a porn moneyshot. This happened to both sandwiches.

Messy or not, I would recommend at least trying this sandwich from Wendy’s once. It is a step above the similar fried chicken choices from other chains. While Wendy’s and I will still have that hate/love relationship, I have to give credit for what they have done. They are raising expectations from a fast food perspective. Win or fail, Wendy’s is at least offering something different and isn’t that what we want in the end?

(Editor’s Note/Disclaimer: We received a gift card from Wendy’s in order to review their Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club. We hope our aunts and uncles will give us gift cards for Christmas in order to buy something we want, instead of giving us clothing from Sears or chocolate Santas.)

(Nutrition facts – 770 calories (less if you go to the pigless Wendy’s), 42 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,790 milligrams of sodium, 58 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugars, and 41 grams of protein.)

Other Wendy’s Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club reviews:
Brand Eating

Item: Wendy’s Spicy Guacamole Chicken Club
Price: $4.79 to $5.49 (sandwich only)
Size: N/A
Purchased: Wendy’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: There are creamy chunks of avocado. The peppery batter on that chicken is delicious. Joy Division. Spicier than most offerings than other fast food restaurants. Bouncing things off boobies. Bacon.
Cons: It is so messy to eat which is annoying. Some of the flavors get lost. Can be a bit salty. Picturing a red pigtailed back from the dead Dave Thomas frightens me. Every Uwe Boll film ever. Baconless.