Tag: Wendy’s

Wendy’s has recently added a new flavor to their line of boneless chicken wings – Spicy Chipotle. Their website describes them as “made from 100% all-white meat chicken breast, delicately breaded and hand-tossed in a sauce made with real chipotle peppers, dark chili powder, and a touch of amber honey.”

Before even trying these “wings,” I have a bone to pick (queue laugh track) with this product. First of all, fast food establishments are notorious for offering “spicy” menu items that are, well…not spicy. I guess they figure the American public can’t handle anything with more kick than a slice of pepper jack cheese. Second, I am soooo over chipotle. Like pomegranate, it’s one of those tired foodie trends that every chef on the Food Network loves to trot out and explain in detail, like you’ve never heard of a dried jalapeño pepper before and it’s going to BLOW YOUR MIND. Thirdly, there’s no such thing as boneless chicken wings. You know what a boneless chicken wing is? It’s a chicken nugget. You can’t fool me, Wendy’s. I was going to make a tasteless zombie Dave Thomas joke here, but he always seemed like a pretty cool guy, so I guess I’ll just leave it at that.

When I first tasted these chicken nugg- chicken boneless wings, my first thought was, hey, at least the chicken’s not bad. I’d rank it above some of the other fast food chicken nuggets I’ve had. My second thought was, I can barely taste the sauce. Half of my “wings” were glopped up with the sticky stuff, and the other half looked practically naked. And not the good kind of naked, like doing an innocent Google image search for Padma Lakshmi and getting more than you expected. Luckily, there was a bunch of it gathered in what I can only describe as a thick sea of slime at the bottom of the tray, so I could smear my naked nuggets around in that, like two ladies wrestling in a tub of half-melted Jell-O. Maybe Padma Lakshmi and Aida Mollenkamp? Only because I’d like to see Padma beat the pretty out of Aida.

My third thought, after I’d gotten a decent amount of sauce and also guaranteed at least one of my laptop keys would now stick forever (from the sauce, pervs), was that I wasn’t actually sure I’d gotten the right flavor of boneless wings. Wendy’s offers two other flavors – Honey BBQ and Sweet & Spicy Asian – and as I sat here, I honestly couldn’t tell what flavor I’d gotten. I’ve never had the two other products, but all three have a distinct “sweet and spicy/smokey/spicy and smokey” vibe, and that’s pretty much all I could tell about the flavor of this sauce. It was a little sweet. It was…maybe a little smokey? Did I detect what passes for spicy somewhere in there?

I figured I’d check the receipt to see if it at least said I’d gotten the right menu item, not that it means anything. I looked in the bag…no receipt. I was on my own. I dredged my finger along the bottom of the tray, pulling up a big glob of the sauce. It was dark orange, with some little speckles in it…could that be the chili powder? I sucked the sauce off my finger, trying to forget my earlier Jell-O wrestling comments. With no chicken in the way, I definitely detected more spice, a little smokiness, and a sweet honey taste. Okay, I’m pretty sure I got the right stuff. And I don’t mean The Right Stuff.

It’s hard to imagine a sauce with chipotle, chili powder and honey in it, that does indeed have elements of spice, smokiness, and sweetness, could be bland, but Wendy’s Spicy Chipotle sauce manages to accomplish this feat. The chicken itself is actually of quite good quality for a chicken nugget (or boneless wing), but I’d rather be dipping it in something like a spicy mustard than have it covered in gooey, uninteresting chipotle sauce. The flavors just aren’t bold enough to pop, and the texture is a little off-putting. Overall, it’s a disappointing addition to Wendy’s menu.

(Nutrition Facts – 10 boneless wings – 500 calories, 180 calories from fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 20 grams of total fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,640 milligrams of sodium, 48 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugars, 33 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 25% vitamin C, 4% calcium and 8% iron.)

Here are other Wendy’s Spicy Chipotle Boneless Wings reviews:
Mishens Fast Food Reviews
An Immovable Feast

Item: Wendy’s Spicy Chipotle Boneless Wings
Price: $3.99, or so the Internet tells me. I have no receipt to prove that.
Size: 10 boneless wings
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Chicken was pretty good quality. GISing Padma Lashmi. Quite a few wings for the price. Jell-O wrestling.
Cons: Sauce was too bland. Aida Mollenkamp. Half my chicken was naked. Feeling uncomfortable about sucking goo off my finger. Claims of spiciness that don’t deliver.

Prior to the creation of chicken nuggets, the only nuggets I’d ever known were those that have either the word “gold” or “nose” attached to them. When chicken nuggets first appeared on my sectioned school lunch tray, I was confused because I was told, unlike gold and nose nuggets, one didn’t need to do any digging in order to obtain them.

Since then, I’ve seen chicken nuggets more often than the others. This is probably due to nose nuggets being contained in Kleenex and gold being mostly seen in rapper chain/tooth form than in nugget form. As for chicken nuggets, I see them every time I walk through the frozen food aisle and, recently, whenever I pass by a Wendy’s, thanks to the huge window decal for their new Spicy Chicken Nuggets.

The Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Nuggets are made from white breast meat chicken, coated with Japanese-style breadcrumbs (panko) and packed with a number of spices like red peppers, chili peppers, turmeric, paprika and ground mustard seeds.

This orgy of spices may sound like the result of a McCormick spice factory explosion or Remy the rat from Ratatouille cooking while high on heroin, but the combination does give these chicken nuggets a nice amount of spice.

The heat didn’t immediately hit me, but instead slowly built up as I chewed my way through the carton of deep fried panko-ed goodness. If you’ve had Wendy’s Spicy Chicken sandwich, you’ll know how spicy these chicken nuggets can get. I was hoping the spices would provide the nuggets with enough flavor so that I wouldn’t need to use a dipping sauce, especially because of the use of ground mustard seeds, but that wasn’t the case.

The spices may not provide much flavor, but their heat does complement well with the variety of dipping sauces Wendy’s offers. They also have great crispy outside texture and were tender on the inside, much like their regular ones.

While I still personally prefer McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets with Hot Mustard Sauce when it comes to spicy chicken nuggets, I have to say these Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Nuggets are a tasty second option.

(Nutrition Facts – 5 pieces – 230 calories, 15 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 690 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 10 grams of protein, 4% vitamin C and 2% iron.)

Item: Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Nuggets
Price: $1.49 (Paid with a gift card I received from Wendy’s)
Size: 6-pieces
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice amount of heat. No trans fats. Crispy exterior. Tender interior. Kleenex. Finding gold nuggets. Eating chicken nuggets.
Cons: Spices didn’t provide flavor. Remy high on heroin. Spice factory explosions. Eating nose nuggets.

The Wendy’s Double Bacon Deluxe is kind of humdrum.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s frickin’ tasty and if I felt like I could survive another onslaught of 1,880 milligrams of sodium, I would consume another, but it doesn’t stand out or get me excited. Just like my inability to differentiate between all of the CSI and Law & Orders, I could easily get this burger confused with another.

The reason why is because it’s a classic burger with normal ingredients. It’s made up of two beef patties, a slice of American cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, a pickle, mayo, ketchup, and four strips of Applewood smoked bacon on a Kaiser bun.

As you can see, there aren’t any frills. No “secret sauce.” No flame-broiled beef patties. No beef from a magical cow. No F-list celebrity in a bikini eating it in a commercial. No fancy foreign bread with a hard-to-pronounce name.

Speaking of names, the name Double Bacon Deluxe is also unimaginative, forgettable and could easily be on the menu at some mediocre diner whose patrons consist of seedy characters. Couldn’t they have called it the Baconator 2?

But I guess its simplicity is what makes it good, since a “secret sauce” could easily fuck things up; the flame-broiling technique is probably patented; special beef would make it pricier; a commercial with an F-list celebrity would make Wendy’s founder Dave Thomas, who starred in many Wendy’s commercials, roll over in his grave; and fancy breads would make it seem douchey.

The Wendy’s Double Bacon Deluxe had a nice heft to it, thanks to the two square-ish beef patties. You can make it heftier by getting the triple version or lighter with the single version. What you decide depends on how hungry you are or how much you hate your body.

The bacon is supposed to be a “thick cut” of Applewood smoked bacon, and they were thicker than the others I’ve had on fast food burgers, but not by much. However, the bacon wasn’t chewy and it’s flavor was lot more noticeable than the others I’ve had. The beef patties were good and not as dry as some of the patties from the competition. The vegetables were crisp, the bun was soft and there were just the right amounts of mayo and ketchup to add some additional flavor, but not enough to overpower the beef and bacon, like they were condiment dominatrixes.

Overall, the Wendy’s Double Bacon Deluxe is a quality burger. It’s delish, but I don’t even think that’s enough to help me remember it in the future.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 burger – 860 calories, 50 grams of fat, 21 grams of saturated fat, 2.5 grams of trans fat, 200 milligrams of cholesterol, 1880 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 56 grams of protein, 15% vitamin A, 20% vitamin C, 20% calcium and 40% iron.)

(NOTE: Grub Grade gave the Bacon Deluxe a taste too.)

Item: Wendy’s Double Bacon Deluxe
Price: $7.59 (combo)
Size: 1 burger
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty. Nice heft. Four strips of bacon. Crispy veggies. Soft bun. Just the right amounts of ketchup and mayo. Comes in also single and triple sizes.
Cons: No frills. Kinda pricey. Almost 2,000 milligrams of sodium. Almost 1,000 calories. Has a name that’s easy to forget. Douchy fancy breads. The number of Law & Order and CSI spinoffs.

Out of the Big (or Fat Ass) Three in fast food burger joints, Wendy’s has always gone against the grain. Sure, Mickey D’s invented the Happy Meal (aka Here’s some food kid, mommy has a headache Meal) which has been aiding in childhood obesity for thirty years; Burger King prides itself in its flame broiled burgers that you can smell within a ten mile radius even if you are driving in a heavily armored tank; but Wendy’s went a different route.

Instead of marketing to children (or parents who just want to shut their kids up), or pumping their aromas out of their restaurant holes, The Red Headed She-Devil puts random items on their menus like baked potatoes, a discontinued line of deli sandwiches that in Greek translates to “freshit,” and the not quite a shake, but not quite a soft serve ice cream-type concoction know as the Frosty.

For years, Wendy’s only had one type of Frosty — chocolate.

No, not Death By Chocolate or Triple PMS Give Me Some Fucking Chocolate or Madagascar Organic Chocolate, it was simply chocolate. Now, fast food companies (yes, Wendy’s claims it’s “better” than fast food, but let’s be honest here, if you can consume an entire meal while still in the driver’s seat of your shitty, banana yellow 1992 Geo Metro convertible, it’s fast food) realize that people want choices with eye catching names, or ones with pronunciations worse than she sells seashells by the seashore.

The Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty is the latter.

Twisted is one of those words that could be used as a slang term. For example, “I was so twisted last night that I think I had relations with that cardboard cutout of Zac Efron.”

Wendy’s went with the traditional use of the word “twisted” in describing their Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty, however they weren’t successful. As you can see in the picture above, there is no twisting going on. It was a minor disappointment since I knew I was going to be engaging my two favorite flavors: coffee and pieces of a Heath or Skor bar.

After popping a Lactaid, I gave it a whirl (or twist). The coffee flavoring was good, but not strong enough and I wish the Heath or Skor pieces were slightly larger, but I guess they want them small enough so you can suck them through a straw.

Just like borrowing the idea of square patties from White Castle, Wendy’s did the same thing with the Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty by borrowing the concept from the queen (pun intended) of blended soft serve treats — the Blizzard.

If there was a Pay-Per-View boxing match between the Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty and the Heath Blizzard, you should put your money on the Blizzard. Sure, it’s getting up there in age, but it still delivers. It’s larger, has more flavor and it knows it. The Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty was good at first, but then it just got sickening and I couldn’t finish it.

But that could also be my gastrointestinal problems.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 ounce – 540 calories, 20 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 270 milligrams of sodium, 83 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 69 grams of sugar, 9 grams of protein, 15% vitamin A, 30% calcium and 6% iron.)

Item: Wendy’s Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty
Price: $2.79
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Coffee and Toffee is a good blend. Smelling Burger King from 10 miles away. Seeing a balding man in a banana yellow Geo Metro convertible eating fast food in a parking lot. Heath or Skor. The “Do You Want to Get Frosty With Me” song.
Cons: Way too much saturated fat. 0.5g of the evil trans fat. Needing to carry Lactaid with me at all times. Hooking up with a cardboard cut out of Zac Efron. Small toffee pieces.

Dipping a chicken patty into a sauce like you’re trying to get it to admit it’s a witch sounds like a great way to ensure there’s flavor in every bite, such is the case with the new Wendy’s Flavor-Dipped Chicken Sandwiches, but a sauce soaked piece of chicken is also a spectacular way to ruin an $80 shirt from Banana Republic or hide your mistress’ lipstick stain on your collar from your girlfriend/wife.

The Flavor-Dipped Chicken Sandwich comes in two flavors: BBQ and Buffalo. The BBQ version also consists of onions and pickles inside a bun, while the Buffalo version is also made up of lettuce, tomatoes, and a blue cheese sauce in between a bun. While both mostly have different ingredients, they have one thing in common — both are extremely fucking messy. After eating one, my hands were covered in enough sauce that it looked like I was the one who sensually massaged the sauce onto the chicken patty. A napkin was not enough to clean the mess, I needed a shower. Okay, I’m exaggerating a little bit, but I did use enough napkins to make an Ent cry.

The chicken patties for both sandwiches may have gotten dipped in sauce like a nerd’s head in a toilet, but the flavors weren’t as strong as I thought it would be. The BBQ sauce wasn’t very tangy and the Buffalo sauce wasn’t as spicy as Hooters wings. Although, the Buffalo sandwich might not have been too spicy because of the blue cheese sauce, which I didn’t even know it had until I researched the sandwich on the Wendy’s website. The pickles and onions in the BBQ version of the sandwich definitely enhanced its flavor and gave it a little more crunch, while the lettuce and tomatoes in the Buffalo one will allow some people to proclaim they had vegetables today.

Overall, both sandwiches were decent tasting, but I really expected more out of them, not only in taste, but also in size. These sandwiches weren’t very big, but I reckoned them to be because I paid almost five bucks for each of them. Apparently, not only is gas an expensive liquid, but so are BBQ and Buffalo sauces. So I guess I’d better hoard the stuff whenever I order Chicken McNuggets and scrape it off my $80 Banana Republic shirt whenever I spill some on it.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 sandwich – Buffalo – 530 calories, 220 calories from fat, 24 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1840 milligrams of sodium, 510 milligrams of potassium, 52 grams of carbs, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 26 grams of protein, 15% Vitamin A, 10% Vitamin C, 10% Calcium, and 15% Iron. BBQ – 450 calories, 110 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams trans fat, 40 milligrams cholesterol, 1430 milligrams sodium, 450 milligrams potassium, 60 grams carbs, 2 grams of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, 25 grams of protein, 2% Vitamin A, 8% Vitamin C, 8% Calcium, and 15% Iron.)

Item: Wendy’s Flavor-Dipped Chicken Sandwiches (BBQ & Buffalo)
Price: $4.69 each
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 6 out of 10 (BBQ)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Buffalo)
Pros: Decent tasting. Lots of sauce. BBQ one is “healthier” than Buffalo version. Wonderful source of protein. Pickles and onions in BBQ version. Lettuce and tomatoes are vegetables.
Cons: Flavors weren’t as strong as I expected for something that’s dipped in sauce. BBQ sauce wasn’t very tangy and Buffalo sauce wasn’t very spicy. Blue cheese sauce wasn’t very noticeable. Pricey for what you get. Extremely fucking messy. Making Ents cry. Wonderful source of sodium. Ruining an $80 Banana Republic shirt with sauce. Excessive napkin use. Trying to get a piece of chicken to admit it’s a witch.